"A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction
is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please,
or worse, to avoid trouble."
A true boundary doesn't trap you inside.
It doesn't mean you must close your heart.
It's not a 'No' to the other's existence, but a YES to you.
To your voice. Your delicate heart. Your truth.
Your path, however uncertain you feel.
Your way. Honouring it. What you need, what you feel. What you don't.
What feels right, and what doesn't.
It's not an attack on the other, even if it feels that way to them.
You can't control their feelings, of course.
But you can honour your own.
(And you can understand their disappointment too).
You can't change their thoughts. That is certain.
But you can allow your own.
(And you can feel guilt, but please don't act on it).
From a place of deep acceptance,
from a total alignment with the way things are,
grounded in love,
rooted in the undulating breath,
you find yourself saying 'No'.
And the 'No' has the power of life in it;
it emanates from a deep YES to existence,
and contains no violence, only truth, dignity.
True boundaries do not block love; they protect it,
allow it to flourish, freely,
in unbounded presence.
- Jeff Foster